My dad made Donkey Kong into a proper girl’s game for me
My three year old daughter and I play a lot of old games together. Her favorite is Donkey Kong. Two days ago, she asked me if she could play as the girl and save Mario. She’s played as Peach in Super...
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SpiderSense suit is real, attached to your nipples
Spider-Man’s Spider Sense is real, and it comes with 10 cables attached to your nipples and groin. That might sound like a bit of a dealbreaker, but the kids at University of Illinois have at least...
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Inside this Alien Egg BDSM prop, no one can hear you scream
I’ve had the chance to try this at Rubber Cult and I just wanted to stay in forever. This is the best inflatable rubber contraption ever. It takes you back to the womb literally. That gush from Robert...
View ArticleMan comes home from first day on job minus penis, testicles
A Peurto Rican man has filed his entry for the worst first day on the job after coming home without his penis and testicles. As soon as he was patched up, Edgardo Toucet marched straight to...
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Jesus was a shapeshifter, capable of invisibility
Jesus. Is there anything he can’t do? He’s credited with several miracles – turning water into booze, walking on water and curing himself from Death for starters – but now a newly deciphered text has...
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You’d screw 7mm into your leg bones every day too… Or maybe not.
You might have a nose job if you’re a football star worth millions in face moisturiser endorsements. Or a sneaky boob job to get over a messy divorce. But are bow-legs really worth… this? These...
View ArticleFox Women’s Day news footage replaces ‘women’ with ‘loads of breasts’.
Note to Fox CT – u r doin Women’s Day wrong. So much so they had to apologise overnight for airing the B-roll footage for a Women’s Day report that wasn’t quite on message. As the anchor gave viewers...
View ArticleColombian drug lords are selling cocaine ‘franchises’
Further proof that the world is no fun anymore – even if you’re a cocaine dealer. Because if you live in Colombia and all the McDonald’s franchises are taken, you might think about plumping your money...
View ArticleSatan spawn appears in lowly manger following Pope’s final resurrection
In the week that the “last Pope” was elected and Jesus was revealed to be a shapeshifter, Satan’s child has been on a farm in Serbia. Goat farmer Hazbija Mujkovic might think he’s doing the right thing...
View Article007 fans create working iPad-controlled car
James Bond’s remote-controlled BMW is now in the hands of a couple of Russian bloggers. Only it’s not a BMW; it’s a clapped out Opel Vectra with 300,000km on the clock. And the Ericsson phone...
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Angel in the sky makes it three signs, four to go.
We’d love to let go of our Apocalypse fetish. Armageddon. Whatever. But phenomenae are assaulting us from every direction since God named a South American as his new – and possibly, last – Pope. Add...
View ArticleGuy gets punched by street performer
When you see the headline “Guy gets punched by street performer”, you’ve probably got an idea of what happens next. It sounds like a street performer might have got so annoyed by a passing douchebag...
View ArticleGerman police can take a joke. Just not this one
Hat tip to German pranksters who thought it would be funny to build a snow sculpture of a VW Beetle in a No Parking zone. They were right – especially after parking inspectors in Aachen slapped a...
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Giant squid hunter, you deserved better
The world of giant squids has lost a legend. On Thursday last week, a Philippine government vessel opened fire on a Taiwanese fishing boat that may have strayed out of Taiwan economic zone, 164...
View ArticleWitches warned against flying too high
Swaziland witches have been put on notice, risking $55,000 fines if they fly too high. “A witch on a broomstick should not fly above the [150-metre] limit,” Civil Aviation Authority marketing and...
View ArticleCouncil ignores request to close wormhole with space serpent in it
A local council in Brighton, UK, will not be following up a report of a wormhole that has allegedly opened up in the city. A concerned local reported the portal to the council through the Fix My Street...
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Evil stinking foam rises from street. Think positive thoughts, people!
Stinkholes are the new sinkholes. Since Saturday night, anyway, when a large pool of smelly thick foam materialised in Jiangpu St, in Nanjing’s Pukou District. That’s somewhere in China, in case you...
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10 mysterious substances you should probably steer clear of
What would you do if evil, stinking foam suddenly started rising through your street? The best advice says stay away. Natural history says good things have usually been in place for thousands of years....
View ArticleNaked World Cup could be the best idea ever. Almost
Less than a month from now football’s ultimate World Cup will be played in Berlin – and everyone will win. Everyone except people who object to seeing extremely fit women naked. Because the finalists...
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